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Old 2nd April 2013, 07:41 PM   #11
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Quote:
Originally Posted by freddie View Post
The religion is nothing weird, it's only the local catholic church. I approve of it, I said to her: "go and ask god to forgive you for what you have done and ask him not to let you do it again, instead of asking him to help you get what you want". It think it got to her conscience.

She has never excused herself for her behaviour with her difficult childhood; in fact she is unaware of the connection, I am the one who found it. I am the one that realises she could not bond with her daughters properly as she is now somewhat behaving, like her mother, with her own daughters (but without the physical cruelty). That is what she needs to resolve in therapy.

I am -fairly- confident that if she goes to therapy and we go to marriage counselling, I can get back the lovely girl I married 10 years ago.

Thanks for your support
I sincerely hope that she will see the light and agree to what she needs to get past this. I suppose its a bit like an alchoholic in that she will need to admit that she needs help before she will do anything about it. At this time she merely blames it all on you, which isnt helping anyone.

If she does go through with the divorce, I think you need to fight to have those girls with you. Otherwise the whole cycle will carry on with them and their own children. Anger, screaming, shouting, throwing and breaking things is a horrible fearful atmosphere to have to live in, and an abusive one, and once on her own she may get worse with them, and also bring all sorts of men back. They have to be your no 1 priority now.

As for the divorce, you can do all sorts of things to stall it if that is what you want. However if she is determined to do it, then why fight it? If she is R. Catholic, they will not support a divorce under any circumstances, and will tell her she can not remarry.
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