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Old 26th February 2012, 03:29 AM   #7
1aokgal
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Re: bipolar, an affair and baby!

I agree on many of the points here. It seems the marriage should have been put on hold from the aspect that this man has a lot of issues (nothing to do with his bi-polar) but character issues. There is the right to child support and he should have vistation privileges. There are no custody disputes. If he supports the child, he should also be interested enough to see the child. I think it was wrong of her to extract a promise from him, as terms of the marriage, he won't see the child. That is likely to backfire.

In the states, there is no free healthcare except Medicaid for the poor and disabled who qualify for it.
Medicare is for elder retired people. Private insurers add preganancy to a policy with higher premium, but no preganacy can occur until 10 months after the insurance. (No pre-existing condition covered.) An insurance company can go broke with critical costs care for an infant born with special complications as 24hr nursing, machines, pediatricians, etc. So the policies that add preganacy are expensive. Group health plans don't automatically add this. One needs to add to policy before the event. A large employer could have a policy that includes as coverage city, state, gov't. workers.

I was a financial planner/insurance broker and this issue raises premiums high for couples who consider having children. Prenatal care and birth expenses (hospital) can run to $7,000. There are now cheaper birth centers in some areas that use midwife delivery.

This woman has no interest in him and it sounds as if she is very angry at how things occurred, since she was pregant and left. Whether that PG was entrapment on her part, we don't know. Both were irresponsible. This child will be around a long time. He will be a shadow or a joy to this man, depending on how the man behaves in future. I don't see the child or the woman as a threat, but an issue that will be ongoing for years. It isn't going away.

Chosen, you last paragraph is dead-on. Let us say her expectations of life have been altered. A future with this man may be precarious by his questionable character choices. If she puts herslf to be involved with the child, at least in a kind, accepting way, things will go better than if it is a war if her husband visits the child.

Some people can really make a mess of their lives with irresponsible behavior. I believe if this wife gives it thought and opens her heart, she may see things differently. She can afford to be kind and understanding now as she elected to take him (and his baggage.)

Last edited by 1aokgal; 26th February 2012 at 11:06 PM.
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