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Old 10th October 2013, 10:49 PM   #52
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Re: Pray for Me Please

Hi Roses,

I knew she was calling his mobile. I tried talking to him about it. "Just friends." I am ashamed to say I didn't know what an emotional affair was until he left and I started doing research, which is when I also found out there no such thing as "just friends". As all his free time was (I thought) accounted for.... What can I say but I trusted him.

My counselor has told me he was a controller. I guess I didn't realize how much. I look back now and see the one thing he really could control was the money. He tried to control me in other ways but I wasn't always having it. Tried to compromise. He gave me a certain amount of money a week for groceries and spending. Anything else I had to get on my own. I now think he was hiding money from me in an account I knew nothing about. Just a feeling I have. Things don't add up.

I did put up with a lot in those couple of years but I really thought it was his job, depression, and also sleep deprivation. He worked nights our whole marriage and never slept well. I just was trying to carry on, work my jobs, and hope he'd come out of it. Funny he would want me to help out but when I offered to give money towards the bills he wouldn't take it. So I just kept saving it in case he lost his job. That didn't make him happy either. He just wanted away from me I guess.

I loved him and wanted our marriage to work. I got so many mixed signals from him. There'd be the old him and then the new. I don't think even he knows what his problem is.
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