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Old 6th September 2012, 01:47 AM   #5
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Re: Husband Has Rage Issues- Should I Leave?

Dr. visit is sure called for and meds may need to be altered/changed. He sounds really bi-polar shifting from mood to mood easily. It is difficult to tip-toe around blowups. The money issues sounds like he drives himself and has fear of loss, or not measuring up to his own expectations. Times are hard and he may be really job insecure. He sounds like a mn who was raised in a harsh home perhaps with a father impossible to please. He expects a lot of himself and is very self critical. Tell him you appreciate his hard work. He may need to hear you think well of him.

Keep control on buying habits and cut extras.

You really need to get some employment ASAP as he is pulling the whole show. That is hard to do in todays' econemy. No children in the home and you need to get some job skillls. Any training/schooling interests you? Best time to direct yourself toward some goal. I think you doing that would relieve some pressure off your husband as he is worried and stressed. Not an excuse for his flying off handle at you with names or insults. Yet your income added would help.

The marriage is salvageable with some direct effort to let him know that you want to help and working together on any debt management. He provides well, but it sounds as this is taking a toll on his well being. The dynamics would change a lot with your cooperation to carry some responsibility there. He is providing for you and you are not a child, but a capable adult. He talks down to you like you are a pet poodle he keeps in bones! Earn his respect and pitch in and help him. I think you would find he would be less agitated, and not so demeaningto you, with your contribution to the home. He would be less stressed and appreciate your efforts. You would feel better about your own personal power and abilities.

My husband works terrible hard too. I could sit back and let him carry it all, but I began a biz years ago and now work from PC at home. I always worked except when kids were home. My work years mean we are better off today as two incomes gave a safety net if something happens. Stable work history secures retirement funds and a decent home if that is the goal. You are young and could make some career that you can accomplish and contribute.

There is 50% chance statistically of death or divorce in marriage. So I believe a woman should gain training and work toward a career goal. If you are in US you need to be funding your Social Security for the days when you are NOT young and there is no one to pay your bills. Especially, if you are unhappy, you need to set a plan to change what you can there. I really think if you were working your conflicts over money and such issues would be less. Get a game plan about how you can change some dynamics and conflicts about money and what he is doing for you.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 6th September 2012 at 04:13 AM.
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