[jan]

Hello,

Thank you for your replies Raymond and Chosen. There is a generational factor on both sides of the family. That is to say, I have a brother and a niece who are almost certainly on the autism spectrum and a large proportion of my close family have had mental health issues which required treatment. On my husband's side, there is a similar pattern. My husband's first marriage failed when he left after six months. He married someone who was significantly older than himself and who already had children and I think he found the responsibility hard to cope with. We married 15 years later.

Decisions made under the framework of Child Protection surprised me. My eldest son made allegations of sexual bullying from his younger brother (they were 13 and 15 at the time) and physical and emotional abuse from his father (my husband). He told the truth. In fact my eldest finds it very difficult to lie. I was at work when most of this took place but both boys related the same incidents. Yet, after being in hospital through self injurious behaviour, my eldest was sent back home and I was supposed to be protective factor. Yet it was very hard to protect my sons from my husband's rages. My husband's rage is more like a 'meltdown' but he will lash out, the insults are extremely personal and cutting and he has no comprehension of the damage this can do to children and to children who (both) interpret things quite literally.

I am tempted to reunite because I feel so out of control at the moment. I want to protect my youngest; keep my eldest safe and make sure my husband is kept calm, but I cannot see a way in which we can do this as separate units.



Anyway, thank you for reading and thank you again for the replies.