Thread: Baronness
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Old 16th August 2011, 04:51 PM   #7
Posts: n/a
Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Dear Baroness...

Is that a "girl thing" we put it all on how we look, or our feminity in a relationship? What about who cares what he thinks? I do think this... and maybe it is not good for your to hear? You both drank together and that was fun and he was exciting then and macho. You had a good job and living together was balanced because you knew he didn't talk a lot but was fun after a few drinks. His personality and charisma to you was good.

Ok, you are both older. Now you are unemployed and with health problems. A full time job is questionable, even if they showed up at your door with promise of a paycheck! One thing there you can improve.
Him? You can't change him. Anybody who drinks as a couple will find that if one withdraws from that part of the relationship, they strip away an element that both enjoyed previously. In come cases, the drinker will attempt to get the other back to the party.

You are seeing the world unfiltered by licquor and he is not the fascinating one! What is the truth? We see what attracted us to someone, and later it is those things that cause the problems! How strange is that! Maybe your man is moody because there are NOT two incomes. You both have to make adjustments as others do today. If you put life all around HIM, you will be disappointed.

Often couples can smoke, because licquor pairs well with smoking, I am told. That can run the budget per person in the US at almost $6 a pack per day or $180.00 month for one. That is an expensive hobby. (I think the majority are now non-smokers, as so many work places don't tolerate it). People are forced to cut back or quit. My husband was a former smoker, not heavy, but a point of conflict between us. He got a shove to quit when the ships in the merchant fleet went non-smoking. There are months at sea and without that crutch. The unions did not want the health claims.
It is also not cheap to go out to a club for an evening for a couple. Licquor and snacks doesn't fit often in the budget for many.

You can change some factors of your life where it concerns the things you do now to enjoy your time and bring in income. All of life is making changes and adapting. Perhaps it was an advantage for him to pair himself with a woman who brought half her income in to support the house. Maybe that was part of the deal at that time? Things change and people have to do the same.

Yes, life sucks. We get up, dust ourselves off and see what we can do to make it better. You are a DOER and not a passive lady. That is part of your charm. Do what you can and blow the rest to GOD. Have a good day.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 16th August 2011 at 07:01 PM.