Thread: Baronness
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Old 21st August 2011, 02:31 AM   #34
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Helen, its not exactly a secret. I know how much he gets from social security and I eventually found out how much he gets from his attorney but I don't want to find out things later. He's always been up front with how much he gets from social security but when I found out he was getting money from his attorney and didn't tell me, I hit the roof.

We'd been waiting for years and for him to tell me it didn't have anything to do with me unhinged me and we had a big fight. This was years ago but because I was drinking vodka then he kind of focused on the fight we had because of vodka and never addressed what he said to me and I was so shocked that I acted like that while drinking that I forgot about it.

You see, when I would drink vodka and find out something that I didn't know and he didn't tell me, I immediately lash into him and there is a scene. I'm not drinking vodka now and haven't for two years so he can't blame anything on that and things have been kind of peaceful. His excuse was that he wanted to surprise me with a trip or something but I was still upset.

How could he see me day in and day out and not tell me about this? I quit asking for awhile because the answer was always the same and it got to where he didn't want to talk about it because he would tell me he was getting his money and then he wouldn't so he didn't want to get my hopes up. Fine. But when he actually got money from his attorney he should have told me and I would think he'd want to tell me.

I don't agree with what he did and that isn't the only time he did that which was why I was so upset. When we first moved in here we were waiting for insurance money and his storage that was destroyed and we decided when he got it we would buy a big screen tv.

Time would go by and no word from the insurance and so one day I asked him if he heard from them and he said yes and he bought a Harley Davidson motorcycle and wanted to surprise me by picking me up at work. The problem was that he can't see well enough out of one eyes to pass a motor cycle license and he had to have surgery.

I was upset that he hadn't told me but went out and looked at this motor cycle out of town, no less, and didn't say anything until I asked. How can you do all that and not share it with the woman you pick up from work? On what planet is it okay to do something like this and not tell your wife?

And how could he do it? How could he keep this secret, no matter what the reasons were. I started to not trust him after that and he knows how I hate to find out things later. I never understood this and even doubted there was a storage or a motorcycle but I heard him talk to my brother about it and he would never do that unless it was true.

He makes it hard to believe him or to think there's something else I don't know. Of course that was awhile back and nothing has happened like that since then but it took me a long time to believe him. He won't lie to me if I ask him a question right out, and he thinks keeping things from me isn't lying but I think it is.

He's been very honest about things since but he still is a very private person, and being an open and forthcoming person, I don't understand that. There are a lot of things I have to live with and have had to put up with, not just the lack of sex, and that is why I get so frustrated sometimes.

I even thought at one time that he was cheating on me and that's why he didn't sleep with me but I know he loves me and I eventually had proof that it was ed but you see what I mean? Once he kept a couple of things from me my faith in him wavered. I used to ride a Harley so I didn't mind him buying it, but I didn't like the way I found out.

Just like when he was going to the bars. He would leave the house for somewhere and then I wouldn't see him for hours and I would call the bar and there he was. He'd tell me he was coming home and wouldn't come home right away. I told him repeatedly that I didn't care if he went to the bar, I just didn't want to have to worry about where he was.

It got to where when he left the house I couldn't trust that he would come home and it would make me so mad. I don't care if he wants to go and hang out with his drunken friends, just have the decency to tell me about it. So what I did is while he was up at the canyon I hopped a bus and went down to our bar and stayed there all day and into the night.

I wanted him to see how it felt. My daughter called and he said he didn't know where I was but that he was keeping the phone right by him. I came home later that night and went straight to my room and went to bed. He wasn't mad at me but he said he'd been worried about me all day and night and I said, 'Good! Welcome to my world!' and he never did that again.