Sunny
you say that you have a co-worker who is a beautiful woman inside and out, truly brilliant, funny, courageous and compassionate.
No, a woman who tries to make a man leave his wife and children and destroy a family is none of those things. She is selfish, immoral, self centered and has no integrity.
Also you really don't know her. You only know what she is like at work. You don't know her bad habits, or her weakness, or her faults, and we all have them. What you DO know is that she encourages men to leave their wives and children. A good person does not do that.
You are in love with being in love. You have to know someone to be in love. You think the grass is greener, but it isn't. Crying and saying her name over and over IS being unfaithful to the woman you married, as well as being very over the top, being that you really dont know her very well. As for her crying in meetings???She doesn't sound like a good woman to me. Using that manipulative tool to get you to leave your family was appalling.
I have no idea why you married a lady who you didn't love or even like it seems, but you did. You also chose to have children with her, despite apparently always wanting to leave her and the children, which was very irresponsible. I am not sure what sort of effect you trying to leave 16 times has had on your wife or children, but I am betting it has made them feel extremely insecure and anxious. You have a responsibility to be there for your children, and to make then feel secure and wanted.
Pease stop dwelling on this woman with whom you fantasised about a new life, and focus back on your family. Carry on with the counselling and encourage the efforts she is making with you. You choose to marry her and take her on, and I am not sure why you think you can then abandon her just because she isn't perfect. Marry a high maintenance lady, and you will stay married to a high maintenance lady.
Do nice things together. Find joint interests and have date nights. Have fun. A large part of being married is being best friends. The more you think of the OW or any other woman, the more discontent you will feel. Discontentment is deadly for a marriage. Be thankful for what you do have instead of dwelling on what you think you dont have.
Sorry I cant be more sympathetic, but I have seen far too many marriages in my family destroyed because of wandering eyes and the inability to stay faithful emotionally or physically. At least you didn't go that far, but the fact that she asked you to leave your family shows that boundaries were well and truly crossed and that you must have spoken of this with her.
Maybe others will have more sympathy, but to me, leaving your family for another person is a terrible thing to do and is never right. I would have nothing to do with a person who thinks nothing of stealing another woman's husband, or taking a father away from his children.
