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Old 14th January 2009, 08:10 AM   #7
1aokgal
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Re: Renewing our wedding vows

Dear Dawn33...

I hope you feel better and excited to plan a wedding. Look on Ebay and hunt the sales. You just have to be very sure to measure the correct size. Best is to go try on some dresses and be sure of size if you buy one ordered.

It feels terrible to lose a job. I lost one years ago and I felt bad for a long time. I felt inadequate and stupid because I knew that women in this department disliked me from the time I was hired. I was younger, well dressed and came in over the head of one who wanted that job as assistant manager. I was hired by a division manager over her chance to promote into that.

That woman had her own cheering squad who felt she was passed over unfairly, She really was good at gossip and managed to create such a hostile group that it just did not work out. I made good commissions for the company but there was such discord I was transferred to another store location. That store was in a next city and a hardship for me. Nothing went right and we both felt it best I resign. I was depressed and upset for a long time plus the loss of the money hurt as well. It took months before I found another situation and part of that was my own loss in confidence.

It was months later when I heard the company finally fired her as just a plain troublemaker. I was not the first or last she forced out. They saw the pattern and had enough of her. That was kind of a vindication for me but it is a very bad feeling whether you resign or they fire you. That is a big stress point in most peoples' lives. I think I laid around, ate and slept, for the first week and had not enough energy to peel an apple. I never wanted to talk about this and hated when others asked me why I transferred. I sure did not want to say because they wanted to get me out of that department.

Later I had the confidence to take some bold steps so I did not have to work for somebody else. We all have such experiences that can shake our foundation of self esteem and confidence. We grieve for a time and then put it behind. Anyone who loses a job has a huge smack to endure and we need to understand it takes time to get back on the horse as they say. What did we learn from the experience?

I think if I had it to do over I might have spoken to the woman directly and said I realize it was hard when someone came from outside and stepped into the job she wanted. Maybe we would have talked and she would have been less treacherous to see me fail.

Dawn33, I hope you realize that you would devastate your family and those who care about you if you feel bad and do not reach out and seek help when you need it. Then the ones left behind feel that they failed and don't know what they did wrong to fail you. Nothing is ever so bad that we cannot get another chance to repeat and do it better next time. This forum is a good place to talk about our feelings but it does not take the place of a friend who will listen.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with things as well.....lonely and sad. So I bought a handsome big dog and put a lot into training him. He is a great companion and my cats as well. Animals are proved to bring down blood pressure and give us emotional peace when we hold them and talk to them. I had a friend a few years back who really treated me scuzzy and threw a close friendship away. Since then I don't feel so trusting as to want to put myself out there for another so my animals are very appreciated.

I don't say we should isolate ourselves but sometimes a vacation from others is not such a bad idea. I now have a group in dog training to attend. There are some mutual interests.

About the dress. I was SUCH a sensible woman I bought a short cream (really pretty dress) for a small church ceremony. I regret I did not go ALL the way and buy a dress that was long and beautiful when I had the chance. I could have found a dress for slightly more money as they were on sale anyway. Hunt for a dress you like and enjoy doing it.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 14th January 2009 at 09:59 AM.
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