Thread: Advice Needed
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Old 16th February 2017, 08:35 PM   #6
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Advice Needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raymond View Post
Hi Chosen. No they are not seperated. They both live in the house with her daughter but the mortgage is in her name and she pays it, not him. Fortunately his job with the ghurka's can take him away for three days and nights which gives her a break.

She confronted him about the affair as I suggested. He denied it twice and then said but I didn't force her. I am glad that he said that whilst trying to say he didn't force her. So now he knows she knows regardless of the forcing issue.

I don't know where it is going to go from here. I have suggested a separation but I don't know how that can happen in case he turns violent. I have now brought the pastor into it with her permission. He doesn't see it as a seperation or divorce as he says we need to give time for repentance, but there is no sign of that at the moment. If anything he seems to think he is a macho male for doing it. Waitng for repentance could take forever, but that is where it is at the moment. My feeling is to somehow for her to plan to get out of the prison. If repentance came at some point then it wouldn't be too late. Sometimes remorse that you have been caught can be mistaken for true repentance. I have warned her about that.
Interesting that he seems to think adultery is ok as long as the other person wasnt forced.

I am astounded at your pastor. Here is a man who n hits his wife, who has threatened her with violence if she leaves, and who has cheated and isn't sorry, and he says she should stay?
Incredible. In her place I would take no notice of what a pastor says, I would plan to separate asap.
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