[Dave]

UK Marriage News – Highlights from July to September 2009

Government and Political
· Tory blueprint for the family: Tax deals for the married, tougher laws on divorce and prenup deals (6 July No.9.25)
Tax breaks worth thousands of pounds a year and a sweeping overhaul of the law to strengthen marriage are at the heart of a Conservative strategy to reverse family breakdown reports the Daily Mail. A major report that will shape policy in a future Tory government is to highlight the 'lamentable' failure to protect the family by policymakers since the Seventies.

· Call to reform Divorce law with compulsory cooling off period (13 July No. 9.26)
A compulsory three-month “cooling off” period in which estranged couples must find out about the implications of a divorce is recommended in a major new report on family law reform published today. The compulsory delay before divorce proceedings could begin would be used to encourage both parties to reflect on their marriage and to gather information about the scope for reconciliation and key issues such as the financial impact of a split. The recommendations are the heart of a report proposing a far-reaching overhaul of the law aimed at putting marriage at the heart of family life. “This three-month period is endeavouring to save saveable marriages,” it declares.

The report, Every Family Matters, comes from the Centre for Social Justice, the think-tank set up by the former Conservative leader Iain Duncan Smith, which has had a major bearing on David Cameron’s social policy-making.

Another key conclusion from the report is a rejection of moves to give couples living together the same legal rights as those who are married. The authors, a high-powered team of lawyers led by David Hodson of London-based The International Family Law Group, also call Government to give “strong encouragement” to marriage preparation classes, although they fall short of insisting that such advice be compulsory.

· Forming Firm Relationships: Decide – Don’t Slide (20 July No.9.27)
The Relationships Foundation is calling on the government to support the voluntary sector in providing relationship education for couples. Too many couples slide into a relationship without ever actually deciding to be together. This has both public and private consequences. Couple Relationship Education helps people work through issues before deciding to commit, making the relationship more likely to succeed. This could reduce the £37billion of taxpayers' money spent each year when relationships fail.

· For richer or poorer, tax breaks are fairer (20 July No. 9.27)
David Willetts has been setting out the thinking behind the Tory plans on tax breaks in the Times.

· Harman: welcome drop in domestic violence (20 July No. 9.27)
Harriet Harman, Minister for Women and Equality, has welcomed new figures which show that since 1997 there has been a 64 per cent drop in incidents of domestic violence. Ms Harman, speaking at the Women’s National Commission 40th anniversary celebrations in London, said: “Since 1997, we have made tackling violence a priority. We have toughened the law, increased sentences and made police, courts and the criminal justice system deal with violence against women in a more sensitive and effective way. This work has resulted in progress. Over the last 12 years, incidents have gone down by 64 per cent. But we know that there is still a long way to go. Violence against women is unacceptable and always has a devastating effect on children in the family, and we will continue to do all we can to tackle it.” [Does that mean that similar violence against men is acceptable and has no effects? Ed]

· Tax credits DO help to break up families: Parents encouraged to divorce to claim higher benefits, says report (27 July No.9.28)
Labour's tax credits have caused thousands of families to break up, says an authoritative study reports the Daily Mail. The flagship scheme is blamed for a doubling of the divorce rate among low income parents with young children. Tax credits, introduced a decade ago to cut child poverty, were supposed to help single mothers and hard-working families. But a so-called 'couple penalty' means that a mother can pick up more than £100 extra a week by splitting from her partner.

· More Couples Impacted by Couple Penalty a Third Year in a Row says CARE Report (10 August No.9.30)
CARE has released its Third Annual Review of the Couple Penalty for the fiscal year 2008/9, demonstrating an increase in the numbers negatively affected for the third year in a row and the growing cost to the Treasury. The couple penalty is the term given to the unwelcome fiscal incentive, resulting from the tax credit and wider benefits system, for couples with children on low to modest incomes to live apart, even after account is taken of the extra housing costs. Today’s report - by Fiscal Policy Consultant, Don Draper - shows that there has been a small increase in the numbers affected by the couple penalty since 2007/8 where maintenance payments are not paid, and quite a considerable increase where maintenance payments are paid.

· Half of babies now born outside marriage (28 September No.9.36)
Almost half of all babies are born outside marriage, official figures have revealed reports the Daily Mail. The rate of 46 per cent for the first three months of this year is the highest ever for England and Wales. The proportion of newborns with unmarried parents has risen by more than 50 per cent since 1991. Conservative MP Ann Widdecombe said: 'These figures are deeply depressing as people are regarding marriage as an optional extra to bringing up children rather than a quintessential foundation for a family. 'Marriage should be made more beneficial to parents by addressing it through the benefits and tax systems.'

Research and Public Opinion
· How being married can cut your risk of Alzheimer's in later life (6 July No.9.25)
Being married protects you against Alzheimer's in later life, claim researchers reports the Daily Mail. People who have a partner in middle age are at half the risk of developing dementia as those who live alone, says a study. Getting divorced and becoming widowed in mid-life raises the risk three-fold.

· Fifth of women childless as careers take precedence, study shows (6 July No.9.25)
One in five women is remaining childless as a growing proportion choose a career over raising a family, according to a study published recently says the Times. The trend is most marked among women of higher social class, with better qualifications, and who were brought up as only children.

· Living together before tying the knot is more likely to lead to divorce, a study shows (20 July No. 9.27)
Couples living together before tying the knot are more likely to get divorced than those who wait until they were married, a study shows reports the Telegraph (and the Mail). The study, carried out by researchers from the University of Denver and published in the Journal of Family Psychology, reported that cohabiting before the marriage does a relationship more harm than good. A survey of over 1,000 married men and women in the US found those who moved in with a lover before engagement or marriage reported significantly lower quality marriages and a greater potential for splitting up than other couples.

· What's love got to do with it? Bliss depends on so much more (20 July No. 9.27)
It has always been celebrated as the heart of any long lasting marriage. But love, it seems, is little more than a starting point reports the Daily Mail. Far more important factors must come into play if a bride and groom are to have a hope of living happily ever after, according to academics. These include the ages of the couple when they marry, their level of education, how much they enjoy a drink and even whether they both smoke.

· A purity ring on your phone? (20 July No.9.27)
The iPhone has applications for almost everything, from helping people to choose the best wine for a meal to locating supermarkets in Holland. Now there is one to help them to stay chaste until marriage reports the Guardian. For just 59p, consumers can download an application that allows them to take a purity pledge and then display a silver ring on their phone to prove their commitment to abstinence.

· Divorce 'health scars permanent' (3 August No.9.29)
Divorce has a lingering, detrimental impact on health that even remarriage cannot fully repair, a study suggests reports the BBC, The Telegraph, and the Daily Mail. A Chicago study involving 8,652 people aged 51 to 61 found divorced people have 20% more chronic illnesses such as cancer than those who never marry. The figure only drops to 12% for those who remarry, researchers write in the Journal of Health and Social Behaviour. They say we start adulthood with a "health stock" that is kept or eroded depending on our marital experience. Only those who are continuously married can expect the same rate of chronic health problems as the never-wedded.

· Why marriage is better for men than quitting smoking (24 August No.9.32)
Walking down the aisle actually has a positive effect on a man's health, scientists say reports the Daily Mail. They found that a long marriage lowers a man's chance of developing serious health problems and is more effective than giving up smoking when guarding against potentially fatal diseases.

· Marriage 'cancer survival impact' (7 September No.9.33)
Researchers believe stress may affect cancer survival reports the BBC. Married people are more likely to survive cancer, whereas those going through a break-up have the worst chance of beating it, a study shows. US researchers from Indiana University analysed data on 3.8m people diagnosed with cancer between 1973 and 2004. They found people who were married had a 63% chance of surviving five years, compared to 45% of people who were separated, the journal Cancer reported. The team said the stress of break-up probably affected survival rates.

· Want the dream marriage? Then sleep in separate beds (14 September No.9.34)
The secret to a long and happy marriage could be having separate beds, an expert on sleep claims reports the Daily Mail and the Times. Not only will a couple escape arguments over duvet-hogging and fidgeting, but they will have a proper night's rest. This will have a huge impact on both their health and the relationship as poor sleep increases the risk of stroke, heart disease and divorce, said Dr Neil Stanley. The consultant, who set up sleep laboratories at Surrey University, said: 'Poor sleep is bad for your physical, mental and emotional health. There is no good thing about poor sleep. If a husband or wife snores, twin beds might not be an option either, and they should sleep in separate bedrooms, he told the British Science Festival.

Partner News
· Too Much, Too Soon: The government’s plans for your child’s sex education (20 July No.9.27)
We received the latest bulletin from FYC this week – as always packed with some challenging thoughts. It also includes this new booklet on sex education.

In 11 short chapters, this booklet tells parents what they need to know about sex education. It explains the law, identifies the aims of the key players, considers the research evidence, and weighs up the case for making sex education compulsory for all pupils from the age of five. It argues that young people do not need to be presented with a menu of sexual options from which they can make ‘informed choices’. Rather, the whole issue needs to be approached with honesty, modesty and within a clear moral framework that shows a proper respect for parents and for marriage.

Available for free download or to order for (inc p&p): single copy - £3.50; 5 copies - £12.50; 10 copies - £22.50; 25 copies - £50.00

· Care for the Family and Positive Parenting merge (7 September No.9.33)
Parents across the UK will benefit as charities Care for the Family and Positive Parenting merge in January 2010. The charities have similar aims and ethos in supporting parents in the ups and downs of family life. This move will enable more parents to access the charities' complementary resources and delivery models meaning more parents can find help, advice and support.

New Books, Resources and materials
· Cohabitation is a bad deal for women, new UK & US research shows (6 July No.9.25)
Women who cohabit should not assume that their partners are equally committed, according to US research cited in "What works in relationship education?" a collection of new papers written by top academics and practitioners in the UK, USA and Europe. Women commit when they move in together, whereas men tend to commit only when they decide on a future together. Most couples slide into cohabitation without making such a clear decision. Inertia then traps some couples in unhappy cohabitations and makes it harder to leave without necessarily making it any better to stay.


Soap Box
· Family structure does matter! (14 September No.9.34)
An independent study of Marriage Savers work in the USA by the Institute for Research and Evaluation found that:

1. By creating Community Marriage Policies, in which clergy from across denominational lines in a city (and sometimes secular marriage authorities), who pledge to do a better job preparing couples for marriage (such as requiring couples to take a premarital inventory that is reviewed by trained mentor couples and teaching conflict resolution skills) and by pledging to take similar steps to enrich existing marriages, restore troubled ones, help the separated to reconcile and stepfamilies to be successful -- they have cut divorce and cohabitation rates, and raised marriage rates.

2. Marriage Savers trains couples in healthy marriages to mentor others at each key stage of the marital life cycle, to implement the pledges of clergy.

3. Divorce rates in the first 114 cities fell by an average of 17.5%. In fact, seven cities such as Austin and El Paso, Texas, Kansas City, Kansas, and Modesto, California -- have reduced divorce rates by 48% to 70%. The Institute estimated 31,000 to 50,000 marriages saved by 2001. With 8 more years in the original cities and twice as many cities (227) now, probably 100,000 divorces have been averted.

4. Cohabitation rates fell 13.4% in Community Marriage Policy cities, from 1990-2000 while they rose in carefully matched cities by 19.2%. In other words, CMP cities ended the decade with a cohabitation rate one-third lower than their counterparts.

5. Marriage rates are rising, though it takes six years, on average. In Evansville, IN, for example, the divorce rate fell 20% while the marriage rate was unchanged until Years 7 and 8 when it rose 16%.

Celebrity, Human and Fun stuff
· Britain's longest-lasting marriage ends after 81 years: Frank, 101, passes away holding wife Anita's hand (7 September No.9.33)
One half of the longest married couple in Britain has died after 81 years of wedded bliss reports the Daily Mail. Frank Milford, 101, held the hand of his wife Anita, also 101, as he passed away at the residential home where they lived.