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Old 13th January 2014, 04:05 PM   #196
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Hi hobson and welcome here.
MY advise would always be to anyone in your position, don't do anything if you aren't sure. You are clearly very unsure if this lady is the right one to be your wife, and you can clearly see red flags.
Are you maybe thinking that you may not find that 'soulmate' so feel that you must settle? There are good reasons why we have doubts. I have heard several people say to me that they had doubts before marriage, and those doubts proved to be correct and things didn't work.

If you are having to weigh up her pros and cons to decide whether to ask her to marry you or not, then why even consider it? You must be 100% sure before you marry anyone. You need to find that person physically and sexually attractive if you are going to have a physical relationship with them. That's not to say that they must be very attractive in the worldly sense, but there needs to be that chemistry there surely?

Children. A Massive issue. Does she even want children really. A young couple I know are having terrible problems right now because he is desperate for children and she isn't, and they are in their mid 30s already.

Is she a godly lady? Does she have a strong faith?

Please pray and ask God clearly what to do, because this thread alone must surely ring those warning bells for you. He will give you that lack of peace if something isn't right, and it sounds as if you don't have that peace at all over this situation.
Dont do anything just because you feel it is 'expected' or its 'time.' A life time is a long time to live with any sort of regret or 'what ifs', and once you are married there is no going back Biblically except for certain specified reasons.

Get some good and godly counselling on this, and ask other guys you know and trust to pray for you. I also wouldn't live together until you are married(if you do marry).Far too tempting.

Last edited by chosen; 13th January 2014 at 05:26 PM.
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