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Old 8th November 2012, 03:56 PM   #4
Forever
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,408
Re: Contact or No Contact...help!

I am so sorry this is happening to you. May I ask what you think you were doing (or not doing) in the marriage that needed to change? Did she give you specific reasons why she no longer loves you?

People just dont stop loving their spouse for no reason or over petty "smalls"...there is something going on that has come between the two of you...and it cant be that you snore too loud or that you failed to pick up your dirty laundry off of the bathroom floor one too many times.

Can you give us an idea of what you KNOW you were doing that could have violated her soul? It would help us to determine what advice we should be offering to you....you were very vague about the issues which would make all the difference in knowing how to approach this.

How old are your children? If you have an infant, could she be suffering from depression? That would take all the strength she could muster just to get through each day and would deplete all her emotional reserves. Does she have a history of mental or emotional instability? We need to eliminate obvious causes so we can help you.

Do you drink too much or stay out with the "boys" whilst leaving her to care for the home and children alone? Are you verbally abusive to her or your children...do you occupy your spare time in such a way as to shut her out and cause her to feel lonely for adult intimacy and companionship? Got Porn going on? Does she spend a large amount of time trolling Facebook or on the internet? (These are just examples of ways that slowly kills the love in a marriage).

It is hard to determine what you should do at this point without knowing how your lives were lived on a daily basis. You are right...give her too much attention and you risk pushing her even farther away, but then, give her the idea that you can easily accept whatever she decides will look like you were not really "invested" in the marriage either (damned if you do, damned if you dont). Reading lots of books will only confuse you because the Authors can only offer you generalities...not specific advice for your particular intimate issues.

Kindest Regards

Last edited by Forever; 8th November 2012 at 04:18 PM.
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