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9th January 2014, 01:55 PM

I just found this page, as I have been going through a similar situation. Married 23 years. Currently seperated and ready to divorce. I was raised by both parents, who were together until death. I loved the fact that my parents stayed together, until the last year of my mother's life. Her and my father never got along in the sense of "being in love". It was more out of obligation. During the last year of my mothers life I saw her deep unhappiness. Her dreams of doing certain things, taking trips, living out goals were coming to an end. Not that my father prevented her from doing certain things, but compromise comes at a price. So she never started that business, never took the trips, didn't live out her singing career because my father wasn't supportive in those type things. They would argue and fight over the years, she would threaten leaving or he would do the same. But they never did. And me and my siblings were happy. But, seeing her in her last days unhappy, regretful, unfulfilled killed me. My mother was extremely religious, and was at peace spiritually, that I do know. I'm sure it was her religious beliefs and us kids that kept her married. In hindsight I wish it didn't. That is why I've come to that decision in my marriage. I could soldier on for better or worse. I could continue to settle and compromise, but to what end. I was always a better or worse guy until my mother's death. No one should have to live with depression, regret, sorrow, being unfulfilled, and wanting more out of life. Not my mother, not Sunny, or anyone else. Nor should my spouse have to be with someone who is not able to be loved as I believe God intended. In reality, for me and I'm sure other's, I've only stayed married this long for the kids, relatives, friends, appearence, benefits and perks. However, the real reason to get married has long since faded. My spouse, who actually left me, wants to work things out and stay together. But my heart is no longer in it. I love and care for her, but really as a friend. I just can't continue on knowing I can't reciprocate her love. That's not fair.

9th January 2014, 01:55 PM	#166
magneto Guest Posts: n/a	Re: I don't love my wife and never have... I just found this page, as I have been going through a similar situation. Married 23 years. Currently seperated and ready to divorce. I was raised by both parents, who were together until death. I loved the fact that my parents stayed together, until the last year of my mother's life. Her and my father never got along in the sense of "being in love". It was more out of obligation. During the last year of my mothers life I saw her deep unhappiness. Her dreams of doing certain things, taking trips, living out goals were coming to an end. Not that my father prevented her from doing certain things, but compromise comes at a price. So she never started that business, never took the trips, didn't live out her singing career because my father wasn't supportive in those type things. They would argue and fight over the years, she would threaten leaving or he would do the same. But they never did. And me and my siblings were happy. But, seeing her in her last days unhappy, regretful, unfulfilled killed me. My mother was extremely religious, and was at peace spiritually, that I do know. I'm sure it was her religious beliefs and us kids that kept her married. In hindsight I wish it didn't. That is why I've come to that decision in my marriage. I could soldier on for better or worse. I could continue to settle and compromise, but to what end. I was always a better or worse guy until my mother's death. No one should have to live with depression, regret, sorrow, being unfulfilled, and wanting more out of life. Not my mother, not Sunny, or anyone else. Nor should my spouse have to be with someone who is not able to be loved as I believe God intended. In reality, for me and I'm sure other's, I've only stayed married this long for the kids, relatives, friends, appearence, benefits and perks. However, the real reason to get married has long since faded. My spouse, who actually left me, wants to work things out and stay together. But my heart is no longer in it. I love and care for her, but really as a friend. I just can't continue on knowing I can't reciprocate her love. That's not fair.