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Old 20th July 2010, 01:08 AM   #100
So alone
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Re: I want to understand

I can't sleep - am worried about the solicitor tomorrow. Silly really isn't it but I've written a long list of things I need to ask and be sure about. Have spent all evening on the internet looking through the legal sides of getting separated and / or divorced.

I don't want to do this at all.

Keep hearing songs on the TV that he used to sing to me. Can't stop crying. I can hear him singing to me like he used to.

Why would he think the grass is greener? Why would he not want to even just talk to me and more to the point why would he lie to me?

I can't work it out. Can't deal with this. No-one I know can either as no-one I know has been through anything quite anywhere near this

My aunty is the only person I know who has ever got divorced and even then her now ex husband came out and told her straight away that he had met someone else.

Why can't I be granted some honesty?

There was none of this dragging things out and even telling fundamental lies.
She knew where she stood. I don't seem to have been offered such a courtesy yet have been given all the blame for anything and everything. It really is grossly unreasonable. It hurts more than anything I could describe.

Every man I saw this afternoon looked like him. He has such similar mannerisms to my dad, I even find that distressing beyond belief.

i miss having a cuddle with him and a cup of tea.

Am I pathetic to feel like this? I sure as hell feel like I am

I know that he not only doesn't care but is not even thinking about me.
It's torturing me so much
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