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Old 24th June 2017, 08:24 AM   #1
Twinkletwinkle
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2
My husband sent messages to a prostitute

Hi, I just signed up, this looks like the perfect place for some guidance and advice. Thank you.
My husband and I have been married ten years and we have a daughter together. For the past few years I noticed we didn't act like a couple any more, sex had stopped and my husband spent a lot of time just listening to music downstairs while I went to bed exhausted from my day.
At the beginning of this year we had a big argument, I had upset his family as they made some decisions about our daughter I wasn't happy with. He was ready to leave the marriage and we went to counselling. It helped, I agreed to make changes and we agreed to draw a line under these past few years and start a fresh, making more priority to being a couple. We started going out again, talking more, we went abroad.. it was great. However last week I found that from last year he'd joined multiple dating sites looking for 'sexy fun'. And the one that really upset me is that just before Christmas he messaged a prostitute. I saw the messages and he put in to detail exactly what he wanted and that he was willing to pay extra if it went 'over time'. I spoke to this woman myself yesterday and she says that she definitely did not meet him. I believe her. She was very open and confirmed he had messaged her.
What hurts is that he never brought up how unhappy he was. I found out all of this myself. He wants me to draw a line under all of this aswell but I don't know how I can trust him again. I had no idea things had got to this point.
I feel he's so selfish for putting his needs above everyone else's. He was willing to pay even though he'd been telling me to cut back on spending!
He asked me, why haven't I kicked him out already? I don't know. Maybe it's too soon to make any rational decisions. I would like to remain married to him if I know I can trust him and we've now identified the problems that were in our marriage. I don't know if he will try to change though. He says he's not perfect, he's admitted he was wrong, didn't deny anything, he says marriage is a whole new thing to him and he's just learning. Well marriage is new to me too but I haven't made mistakes like this!
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