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Old 18th April 2014, 01:47 PM   #6
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Wife is confused

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost2014 View Post
Thanks everyone.

I do understand what you are saying. I'm just having a difficult time doing anything about it. All I want is for us to work. He's just a fling that will fall by the wayside and I don't think that's worth risking my marriage for.

We got together very young, but that's enabled us to grow together. We've been together 10 years and married for almost 5.

I guess I'm just trying to rationalise what on earth is going on here!
You dont know whether it will fall by the way side or not, but you allowing her to cheat on you while still together will make her think that you are weak and that she can act how she lies with no consequences.
If you were having an affair would you expect her to just accept it and stay together under the same roof?
Your fear of losing her is allowing her to manipulate you and walk all over you. If you do nothing, then even if this affair ends she will probably cheat again because you are not being firm or wise in the way you are handling this. You are not setting good boundaries for the marriage as to what is and isn't acceptable. If you give her a choice and she chooses him, then you will have had a lucky escape from a life time with a woman who thinks nothing of cheating on her husband under his roof. She needs to know that there are serious consequences to what she had done(and is doing). She has already left one wife without a husband, and probably children without a father.
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