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Originally Posted by Lovey
I like having discussions with my H about how we're both doing and what's going on with each other's lives often. Good open talks can discourage going outside the marriage. I think too,being honest.
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Lovey,
I agree with this 100%. My problem was my ex never spoke to me. In all the years we were married, me made no effort to have a serious dialogue with me about our marital issues. To be honest, he was into porn too but it never bothered me. What bothered me was some of the other things he did (which I won't go into here but some of it was pretty traumatising). All he did was pout like a child, stamp his feet and accuse me of having a go at him, even when discussions started on the most innocuous basis.
My question to you is how do you get a partner to open up to you and have a reasoned dialogue when they accuse you of victimising them all the time? I would not mind but my ex refused to go to counselling too. I felt boxed into a corner with no way out. He told me he had his affair because the other woman (my brother's wife) did not give him a hard time about relationship issues. That wasn't surprising given that they only had a part time relationship (and even then it was more about the sex than anything else).
Helen