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Old 22nd December 2013, 01:05 PM   #8
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Hoping to move forward

Quote:
Originally Posted by Car111 View Post
Hi All!

Here's my story. I had been on this forum a few months ago but haven't posted in a long time.

Together 13 years, married 8 years. Twin 6 year old girls and a 5 year old boy.

It all started in Feb of this year when I got the bomb drop of "I no longer love you, I feel empty inside, I haven't loved you in years.. I can't imagine a future together...". I was completely shocked. We went to counseling for a few months and it ended in June with him saying he wanted to separate. He then said he wasn't sure if he wanted to stay together or separate, and we started this strange kind of "limbo" or fence-sitting where we lived together but he wouldn't tell me whether he wanted to stay or go.

In September he told me he was leaving. He moved out to his brother's apartment and left me and the kids in the house. I was so sad but relieved in a way, after all of the hurt that he has caused me over the months. I started to move forward and just focus on myself and taking care of my children. I got a lawyer and started on the separation agreement.

Then one day he told me that he was second guessing his decision. He missed me and wanted to work on things. I felt shocked because I had been moving on. We are now reconciling and trying to rebuild our marriage. He is still at his brother's apartment. We still have a lot of issues we are slowly working through and we are going to start MC soon.
I wouldn't let him come and stay in the house ever, even for one night, until you are sure that he will never abandon you again. I would give it a year of seeing him and having counselling before you consider this. It will also be really heart breaking for the kids if he moves back in and then moves out again. He needs to prove to you all that he can be trusted this time and isn't going to just walk out when he feels like it.

As someone else said, are you sure I there wasn't a lady and he only wants to get back with you because they broke up? Its a real possibility, and its only right that you know. Could you maybe speak to his brother about this?
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