Thread: I can't let go!
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Old 4th September 2013, 03:26 PM   #6
Pamela
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Re: I can't let go!

You are right, he is trying to live the best of both worlds! I have suggested counseling in the past, and he always says he doesn’t need it, that I do.

My husband is a very good sports fisherman. Since his retirement he lives and breathes fishing. I don’t know what she does for a living, but she is an enthusiast for fishing just as he is. To me fishing is fishing. I can’t come close to where they exist with this sport. I have much more of a life! Besides my career, I enjoy yoga, working out, many other things that my husband does not partake in.

I try to mention emotional infidelity to my husband and he doesn’t want to hear it, and discredits it. I sense a very strong attachment when I read through her blog. She claims she has learned so much from him about fishing and "life". At one point she thanked him for fishing items that I knew had sentimental value to him. I asked him where she lives and he said somewhere in the next state, he didn’t know exactly where. I think he’s lying and she lives close by. I asked where he met her to give her the items he gave her. He got upset and told me I was making too much out of it. The items didn’t mean anything to him, and she needed them for a project. She didn’t say that in her blog. She said "it was an awesome thing he did and that she would keep everything together in a special place just as he had given them to her". Then… he mentioned a town thirty minutes away, saying she “circled around” through this town to meet him at the marina where he docks his boat. That was strange! Why did he mention this town when it was not necessary? I think he slipped! She references too many local places with pictures in her blog. I checked some of his previous toll logs and found several trips to the area he mentioned, with no indication of fishing or hunting trips, which is why he claims to go to that area.

He claims he hates when men physically abuse women, and that’s why he talked to her. He says he was trying to tell her to get away from this guy. For three years?! He also told me she has three kids, and he’s not interested in being with anyone with kids. He spoke a bit about her daughter who he claims is somewhat withdrawn. He is too involved with her life to deny a relationship.

She would never respond to my messages. When I first discovered her blog, as shocked as I was, I commented on each post about my husband, telling her I thought it was very nice that she gave him so many props on her blog. She kept my comments hidden, and told my husband I was threatening her! I then messaged her that my husband claimed she was just a friend, and that his friends are mine, as mine are his, and I looked forward to meeting her. She has since disabled any comments to her posts. She never responded! What kind of friend is that?

I can’t imagine what he has told her about me. But I know I must have thrown them a curve when they realized I was on to them! This is probably why he was so angry with me initially, telling me I needed to get help because I was losing my mind accusing him of cheating.

As long as I don’t mention this fiasco everything is okay with us. Every now and then I will make a remark that reminds him this is very much on my mind, and you can see the frustration in his face. He will respond saying I am trying to start something. But I just move on to the next subject, with no reaction.

I trust my intuition and it tells me not to be fooled by his kindness. I have a keen sense for when he is lying. Even though I still love him, and I can’t walk away from the marriage yet… I do have moments of thought’s of being with someone genuinely committed in a solid relationship.

I appreciate your comments and insights. I do not have anyone close to me who I feel comfortable sharing all of this with. Your feedback means so much! Thanks!
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