1aokgal

Dear A..

Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time. What a pile of garbage for a married man to say he wants "to process things and remain friends!" That sounds to me like the cop-out of a man with another woman sitting in the wings. He isn't man enough to tell you what are his real problems. Sounds like he has itchy feet to play single again!

Listen, once you agree to separate it is ALL over. You need some truth here. You should confront him to be honest about what is REALLY going on. Does he not like the way you clean house? IS there not enough sex? What is his beef? Do yourself a favor and cause a huge stinking fuss so he gets real and tells you the truth. You should know whether he is a real rat or not, because it sounds to me that he is doing some slithery face-saving not to tell you what is truth. Now is the time you snoop, check his PC and see if he is living a double life.

That is sure better than walking into the sunset, while he tells you he just needs space. If this marriage has any chance to survive, there needs to be conversation about what makes him want to go single again.... so you can fix it...or not. This calm acceptance does not offer any help to make a life with or without him. Passion, dear, where it it? You are NOT friends and will never be friends. You are lost if there is no passion about this situation.

Do NOT want to be OK with a separation! If you don't have the passion to fight to keep your marriage intact and change what is wrong, or find out what you both need to do to fix it, then you have wasted the 8 years you have been together! If there is no passion about this marriage, then it is true maybe it is done. Do you understand what I am trying to tell you?

You must get outside the shell of you and emote and find some answers. Maybe that is the problem! No passion. I hope I don't hurt your feelings, but I wonder if this situation dosen't spark you to be DARN angry and to fight for your marriage?