Thread: Lost
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Old 3rd December 2015, 10:15 PM   #1
ksad
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 1
Lost

I love my husband. We have been married 4 years, together for 9. I am 5 months pregnant. It's always been quite rocky, we are either fine or literally screaming at each other not speaking for days at a time. I am an artist. I am passionate, I am a talker, however I am really easy going, understanding, extremely (too) caring and giving. He is an engineer. Quiet, reserved and basically emotionless.

He has a drinking problem. He drinks generally only on weekends but literally has no control over it. He cannot stop drinking once he starts. He also smokes pot. Generally also on weekends. We've been going out to social functions (I'm still trying to be fun and not a nag). But each time I literally just watch him as he drinks himself into oblivion, and gets high. It's always been this way. But it doesn't even phase him that I'm pregnant. We are 36 years old. I'm basically his DD. This is every single weekend. He sees no problem with it.

Last week I had to work late, and he wanted to go to dinner, I was super excited because we hadn't had a nice date night in a long while. He showed up to my work high. I just said I'd rather not go to dinner. We went home instead and he continued to get high. He knows this bothers me, he knows I don't want to be around him when he is stoned. But that's what he chose to do.

The week following my dad started having major heart problems and was life flighted to a hospital. My husband offered to drive up (2hrs away) with me. He literally said not a single word to me the entire way up or back. I would have just loved a hug, or after if he would ask how my dad is doing.

There is never ever any emotional support from him. Never even a hug, or ask how I'm feeling. We are no longer intimate. We do "talk" and 'hang out' everyday. We spend lots of time together. But it's like he literally has no emotion in his body. He was basically obsessed with me when we started dating, then I guess it just progressed into marriage, I know we shouldn't have gotten married. I know I'll never be happy without feeling loved, or supported. I feel so alone. I mean he's always around, but just nothing emotionally. I'm dealing with this pregnancy, my dads health and my failing marriage. In my mind, I just wish I could have someone there for me, and I want it to be my husband. What can I do?
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