[Liz]

Dear Raymond

I have been thinking about your concern about spanking. To me it is a questionable practice because it is about one person exerting power over another to punish them or inflict pain. That does not tie in with my understanding of making love that it is about expressing love for and joy in each other and giving the other pleasure. For me, making love is a celebration of the beauty of our love for each other and, as a Christian, it is holy, a place and time that should be free from selfishness, power or control.

When I have struggled with unhelpful thoughts or desires creeping into our love making, I have prayed and tried to remind myself of things that are good and wholesome and joyful about our relationship. It will seem strange to some people, but praying before or while making love is quite normal for a Christian. God is present at such times as much as he is when we are sitting in church, and the most intimate moments of our marriages are very important to him. Sometimes it is necessary to ask God to reveal our attitudes to making love and to enable us to allow him to correct and heal those attitudes.

I hope that may make sense and speak into your situation.

Liz