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Old 7th July 2014, 08:11 AM   #18
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Am i sinning and how do i stop?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1aokgal View Post
Church friends do not have the education or licensing to practice psychiatry. That would be no church we would be a member of for sure. When one seeks help, they should not be ambushed or "confronted" or shamed to "sort out" emotional issues. Counseling in such matters is done by professionals for a positive result, else a troubled person can be more in conflict.

There is NO gentle challenge to confront a man about his performance in his marital bed. That approach would never be done with my permission. I think few here agree with your idea on approach.

Its completely biblical. Most people in all the churches I have been to do have prayer partners or accountability partners who will pray for each other, gently challenge each other if needed, and support each other with issues and problems. This should hopefully show the person that what they are doing is wrong, and that they need to seek advise and help to stop whatever it is they are doing. Many such issues can be sorted through prayer ministry or counselling, in confidence. We are supposed to be a church family who are there for each other, and most people have one or two close friends in our church who we can go to with issues such as this. If we cant then I would suggest finding another church that is more friendly and supportive. Another idea is for the couple to go to another trusted mature Christian couple to talk this through, and get support and advise and prayer together for a period of time. Ignoring something so important never helps. Its like burying your head in the sand.

Many cases I have heard about where one partner withholds sex have been nothing to do with needing professional help, they have been due to selfishness, or disobedience, or low testosterone, or due to porn use or some other fairly easily sorted reason. Until they make some effort to deal with it, nothing will ever change will it.

Just to go on year after year with no attempt to get any sort of solution or advise is extremely selfish. I would never do that to my husband ever. I know how important sex is to him and to keeping us strong together in marriage. Plus the fact that its disobeying Gods clear instruction.

Last edited by chosen; 7th July 2014 at 08:20 AM.
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