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Old 7th July 2014, 06:41 PM   #20
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Am i sinning and how do i stop?

Umm where did I ask if you were a Christian?

Its 9 years very happily married, and 25 years previously married, so lots of experience there, as well as 9 years as a mod on a very busy on line Christian forum where we get many many people coming with marriage and relationship issues, many of whom have been greatly helped and supported by their time there.
In the last 18 months alone God has used me to get the children from 2 separate families(5 in all) away from parents who were physically emotionally and sexually abusing them. I still help, support and encourage them as much as I can. Its so encouraging and and special to be used in this way, and no degrees are needed when He does this, only a willingness to be used and to be led by Him.
All of the things we go through help us to be wise and perceptive in situations that we then come across. Its very encouraging to see How God does use our life experiences to help others, and we don't need secular qualifications to do that.

I too have sadly had loads and loads of horrible and traumatic events happen in my life, as have my husband and children. We also had many outside issues to deal with in the first 2 years of our marriage, probably more than most people have in 20-30 years of theirs. That's why we all need the help and support of others to keep us on the right track when we are way off course or in difficulties. To just keep it all hidden under the carpet never solves anything. None of us are meant to be an island alone, that why we need the church family and friends.

I really hope that one of my friends would care enough about me to challenge me and enable me to really think hard about what I was doing if I were causing my husband such pain and rejection as is the case for the OP. If a person is never questioned or challenged, they will simply carry on the same way, and no one is helped. They may prefer that of course, because then they dont have to make any changes or get out of their comfort zone, but its very selfish.

The churches I have been to in my life are/were loving, caring church families who want to encourage and support and help others in their lives, and with their problems and issues that come up, and this includes when we get caught in sin. Its not loving to ignore sin, but to lovingly challenge it just as God does with us. The Bible says that God disciplines those He loves, the last thing He wants is for us to stay wallowing in our sins and disobedience and wrong choices. He cares about us far too much for that. He offers help, but we have to decide if we will take it. Its our decision. Surely this is what a good family is supposed to be like, and its how God designed it. I am actually a very independent person, so find it hard to ask for advise or help, but its a good lesson to learn.

Last edited by chosen; 7th July 2014 at 07:52 PM.
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