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Old 10th July 2014, 03:53 AM   #31
1aokgal
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Re: Am i sinning and how do i stop?

Chosen..

It seems you have an innate need to put in your last word. I don't post on the forum to seek advice ..maybe some feedback, but I explored most options. You simply don't respect anothers' boundaries! That is a personality defect.

You don't get the picture. I have NO sexual problems, hang ups or dysfunctions...never did. I am married to a REFUSER .......as in "NO, no, not at all, or no, don't bother me" or other ways to say no. I also got, "I love you and don't know why I feel this way!" The pain of refusal for years for me, was huge. I also had my own issues of aversion to rejection.

My husband might say it this way as in "NO, I won't see a shrink, counselor or magician." Chosen, you must give advice though you don't grasp the situation!

That you say I am selfish or cheating another is REALLY offensive. You have NO understanding of the problem! Your need to get in your two cents baffles me. This situation is pretty simple. One can bring water to the horse, but if he won't involve himself, that is the end of it. It is how it is.
Sex is very important to a marriage. It was always important to me as a woman. It is hard to lose a human need and there are few substitutes. I have never "given up" but that is the way it stands.
There are also now other medical issues, so that part of life is over.
I told him I will set him up for a "stop smoking clinic" next available. I will go along to see he attends. He says he only smokes "a few cigs" and I said maybe he gets a "little" lung cancer next.
I never said there is no affection, or love.
I learned a lot along the way.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 10th July 2014 at 06:45 PM.
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