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Old 23rd February 2012, 03:07 PM   #14
Helen_uk
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,531
Re: really messed up

When someone has been unfaithful then the partner sometimes NEEDS to know ALL the gory details , and sometimes they don't want to hear anything about it at all.

In my case I needed to know everything . I couldn't carry on not knowing.

You have to take your cue from your wife. If she's asking to know everything, then I think you have to tell her . She maybe feels as I do that she can't forgive you unless she knows everything that happened.

You can't rush this, you can't put a time limit on it. It's not your ball game any more and you don't call the shots .

If you're already thinking along the lines of being " blackmailed " and " controlled " then I question whether what you're feeling is remorse for the act of cheating, or remorse at the act of being found out. ...

You ask how you can prove that you love your wife and that the affair is over . Show her by being totally open and honest , account for your whereabouts, leave your phone in the open ... for as long as it takes for her to feel she can trust you.

You've cheated . How is your wife to be expected to take your word for it that it isn't on-going or that you won't cheat again ?

Broken trust isn't mended with a few words or in a few days .
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