Thread: 37 years gone.
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Old 23rd September 2012, 12:17 AM   #6
Winder
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Re: 37 years gone.

Thank you all for your replies. Its been a complicated marriage in the sense that most other couples would have probably split up a long time ago but to answer a few questions. First, there is no infidelity involved by either side so rule that out straight away. The complications involve things like her becoming agoraphobic for a number of years, depression a number of times, (for which she sought advice but was only ever given tablets), violence and disrespect from a teenage daughter which lasted approximately 10 years or more, being rejected by her parents and then her siblings after a minor car accident which her parents witnessed by did not stop to enquire about, and then more depression when I suffered what turned out to be a minor ailment but will require life long medication. Last but not least by any means, family trouble at my parents funerals and finding out a few years later via my daughters facebook account her mum had died and then 6 weeks later by a friend her dad had died and none of her siblings had the decency to inform her and have still not contacted her to this day. There are a whole lot of other issues as well as these but this is to give you some kind of background to our life together. Through all this time I have tried to be supportive but because of things like making light of my ailment, not going round to her parents when we had the crash and trying to do things for her she sees me as being a controller. I chose to make light of my ailment to avoid getting her stressed not to get her wound up so she would be living in a state of fear but she will not listen to any explanations. I went away to work for the first time in 37 years of marriage recently in order to find out how we both felt if living alone. I think thats what finally broke us because we realised we didn't need each other. In fact we have both agreed that we were more relaxed being away from each other than we have done in years. She even found new confidence she didn't realise she had but which I had been telling her about for years. Now she is scared that if we stay together, even living separate lives but staying in the same house, she will lose that independence. Hence the need to get out as quickly as possible.
Its impossible to talk about everything that has happened in our life without having to write a book so this is just a broad outline if that is any help.
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