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Old 7th August 2013, 05:17 AM   #3
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Husband has left!

Puglove, I would give him time and space and continue to get yourself better.

One thing I would strongly advise however, is that you have to start being your own family and putting him first over your mum and grandmother. He CLEARLY didn't want to go away with them, and yet you did pressure him to go. You TOLD him he HAD to go!!!!!NO he didn't, but he felt under so much pressure from you and your mum that he felt he had no choice. The fact that your mother paid for it and put pressure on you to go is irrelevant. She should have asked you both first and not booked it until you had both willingly agreed.

He should always come first now. I think you need to separate yourself from your mother emotionally and fast. Don't let her interfere. Controlling interfering mothers have caused many divorces.

You may need to limit contact with her, and PLEASE stop telling her all your personal problems between your husband and yourself.
What was she doing ringing his parents up and asking what was going on? It was none of her affair and was between you and him. I couldnt believe that she did that.
I think you need to apologise to him for allowing your mother to interfere, and that in future you wont allow it. God is very wise when He says that we must leave our parents and cleave to our spouse.

Shouting at a man will never work, it makes them close down emotionally, and is probably partly why he started going out so much. Most men hate confrontation. Start treating him with respect, making home a nice inviting and calm place to be, mother in law free, and see what happens.

Maybe try writing him a letter, stating all the things that you know need changing, and see what he says.

Last edited by chosen; 7th August 2013 at 05:25 AM.
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