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Old 11th April 2005, 05:52 PM   #34
helenrw200
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Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Dear concerned reader,
my story is neither fascinating nor colourful, it is simply my life.

My mother left the marriage because of her lack of feelings for my father, but it was a joint agreement on both their parts that she would return daily to avoid me knowing the truth. There was no other person involved on either side, indeed I don't think either she or my my dad would have been so accomodating had there been another person involved.

Oh yes my ex husband was more than happy to be the generous husband providing I play his game of happy families , and lie both in court and to his and my parents about the parentage of my child, so that he could save face and not admit the truth to anyone. To this day my son has no idea that his dad is other than my ex husband, this was part of the "deal " .

I am glad that you feel you are a strong enough person to have withstood all that came my way, however I am merely human and was weak and allowed myself to be manipulated. My ex husband was clever enough to catch me at a time when I was at my lowest ebb, having escaped an abusive marriage and played his hand well over the years. I'm sorry if I sound bitter, but I gave him 18 years, and tried so very hard to be a wife and to love, I feel no guilt about my decision to leave, it was right for me and for him and I'm glad that I did. I think much more of him as a person now, and am truely glad that he ,as well as I, has learned from past mistakes. I think 18 years is enough time to give a marriage that isn't working .

I had a temporary separation from my ex husband many years ago, but returned under pressure. My present partner and I have had difficulties, but the difference is that I love him, and hard as he may sometimes be to live with , this relationship is worth saving.

I didn't leave my ex husband in order to be happy , I left him in order to be me.

I will never be of the opinion that marriage should be saved at any cost, we all make mistakes and we all have to live with consequences, I lived with mine for 18 years, I think that was long enough.

You are entitled to your opinion however and I have read it with an open mind , we must however agree to disagree.

Helen
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