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Old 22nd February 2012, 05:38 PM   #5
1aokgal
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Re: really messed up

Tonyw,

You got caught in the act so now you want to go back like nothing ever happened! You were deceitful, and broke trust. That went on for years and you have a lot to atone for. Why do you think she should trust you now. That is very sad.

There is another area that didn't seem to occur to you. Today there are huge lawsuits against employers who mix with another on the job. She could have sued you for sexual harrassment and cleaned out everything you own with a judgmet against you. It is a simple "he said, she said" that she could claim you coerced her to have sexual relations with you or she would lose the job. You say "she has left the job." If you terminated her, then you might still have cause to look over your shoulder for awhile.

You did what you wanted to do in a selfish, uncaring way. I think many women married to a man who ended up in a motel with an employee would call it over. If she ever takes you back, it will only be after you show a lot of repentence and that she can believe you won't do this again. That must have been an ugly scene, and not something she would soon forget.

You didn't do this in a bubble and others who worked for you probably had you as a topic of conversation. Others were aware of the coffees and meetings, so your avtivities may have gotten back to your wife through someone who passed that on. It would be very difficult for your wife to forget all that. Don't try to sweep this under the rug and spend time to let her know your feelings. Then you respect her space and the time she needs to heal.
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