Thread: 37 years gone.
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Old 21st September 2012, 04:09 PM   #5
1aokgal
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Re: 37 years gone.

There are two issues here. One is the marriage and why there are such problems that she would say emphatically she wants "out before Christmas." Most women regard Xmas as a religious and family holiday of great significance. To break up a marriage at that time, says more about her anger, than her desire to part. That date seems to be a weapon hung over your head to separate at that time. That says to me she thinks everything is your fault and when the family is upset at that special holiday, it is on you. Why is she so angry?

One does not have to agree or sign divorce papers. Unless she sues for divorce using grounds of infidelity, where fault is involved, it usually takes two to make a divorce. I agree that there should be great effort to go through marital counselling or pastoral help to talk through some issues before making such a drastic decision to end a marriage.

The issue of the house... legally, if it was obtained during the marriage, it is considered joint in community property states. Neither partner in a divorce comes out in better financial condition. As the home is the main asset, both will experience a drop in life style for a time. A man generally recovers faster, because his income is generally stable, and men traditionally may still earn more than women.

The grass is not that green for those who begin life anew in their 50's. This is the time of life when two people should consider how they can fund retirement years ahead. Now there is the advantage of freedom from children to enjoy time together. The emphasis should be to reinvent the relationship for the two of you. Don't blow this opportunity to make some great years together.
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