Thread: verymuddled
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Old 13th July 2011, 08:02 AM   #14
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Re: verymuddled

hi Buttercup..

I am really sorry you feel so much pain from this infidelity. When one steps outside the marriage it is a terrible deception and breaks the trust we feel toward the mate. Whether he has apologized and tried to make amends is very important. We need the feeling that it matters to him, that he realizes how much hurt this has caused.

Cheating makes a woman feel unattractive and unloved. Men can separate an affair from love for just sex. Women regard the affair as stripping them of respect and love. It is a deep wound to the psyche and doesn't heal easily. It is easier to recover if your husband can prove to you that this is history which won't repeat. I think some grovelling is appropriate, so the man should pay in a pound of flesh until he gets it that this can't be repeated. If you want to have a shopping trip I would go without conscience and take a long day for you. You need to ventilate the sour note that was introduced to your marriage.

I hope this was not someone he works with or who is known to you. That is a tough call to deal with that close to home. You are looking for a shoulder to cry on..try here. Don't seek out a man which will complicate the issues and blow up in your face. Other women experience these things and a marriage can survive infidelity. It will just take some work.

When you feel he is genuine in the remorse he feels for acting like a scum, then you need be able to forgive. Of course, you feel terrible but that will pass.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 13th July 2011 at 05:47 PM.
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