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Old 24th February 2016, 11:39 AM   #2
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Advice or just letting off steam?

Sounds to me like you have given up on marriage and blamed it on her. I think maybe you were forcing things at the beginning instead of trying to understand her. Yes she should never withold sex but you have to start from where she is and not force activities that don't sit well with her. Having an affair was very wrong and you cannot blame her as it is something you did. That would have seriously affected your marriage. If you were of the mind to save the marriage you would need to confess to that as secrets like that affect intimacy in a big way.

She sounds like she has issues in her background perhaps from her upbringing and would have needed nurture. I think you have suffered from the POM's (poor old me) without having regard and understanding as to why she reacts in the way she does. She married you and I think a little bit of love and understanding would have gone a long way instead of interpreting her problems as something against you.
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