Lynn

You are so right in what you say. I also had never heard of co-dependency until a few years ago. Melanie Beatty has written some brilliant books on the subject. I have read hundreds of books to date, in fact when I go to Waterstones I have to look for the books I have not read because, believe me, I have most of their books in my book shelf!!
But saying that it does not always mean that I can indentify with them. I can have an intellectual understanding and I could recognise it in others at fifty paces but seeing it in myself is another matter entirely.
I think I have got to the stage now where I have accepted that I to am addicted and that being said I have to treat myself like an alcoholic would, or a drug addict and that means not going near or having anything to do with my addiction until I have full control of my mind and body. This is a revelation to me. It has always been so easy to blame him, his addiction was obvious, mine not so. I know that to begin healing anything you first have to be aware.
I am getting to know myself in a whole new light and I am actually happy to be on my own, I have no need what so ever to share my life with anyone at the moment, except my dog!!
This is a good place to be and when I am ready I can move on to the next stage but until I am totally sure that I will not attract another addict or narcassistic man then I will stay single.
I also try to work on the principles of The Law of Attraction and have read many books by Esther Hicks, they are brilliant and a breath of fresh air. I understand about energy and how it works, how others can deplete our energy. Negativity is like a poison and once consumed it attracts more negative expericences.
I am lucky that working outdoors with nature allows me to top up on good energy every day and I am sure this has saved me on many occasions. I just have to follow through with my private life and that is the hardest part of all. I choose today to no longer be a victim and to attract all good things in life to come to me.