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Old 24th December 2010, 09:01 PM   #14
Forever
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,408
Re: I don't want to get a divorce

Your issues regarding insecurity about love need to be buried in the past. That was unfortunate, but you are now living today.
What does your husband have to do to prove his love for you? When will you finally believe him? You are a married woman now, who has a husband that allowed you the freedom that your education has afforded. He encouraged you because he loved you and saw what a career meant to your self esteem. This is part of his love for you. This did not mean that you were to disregard and disrespect him as a man.

Of course, I think you know this now more than ever. He told you that if you drink, he would divorce you, even though you both met in a bar. He was setting a standard that he thought you understood. He was happy to meet you, regardless of where that took place (in a bar), but made it clear that if you were to be his wife, then you would be expected to give up the drinking. Did you agree to that? Did you think that his feelings for you would override his need for security and your promise? You know, many men have double standards. It seems to be fine if they drink, but not if their wife does. Is this the case for you and your husband?

These are questions you must ask yourself. I know how angry he is. He feels like you have taken advantage of his love for you, broken your promises, flaunted yourself to other men and now his is ashamed he married you. He feels like a fool. You were so intent on getting love the way you wanted it, that you forgot about giving it to him the way he needed it.

This can be repaired. Biggest question is this. What are you willing to do for him to have the marriage repaired? That is the real question.
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