Thread: How to move on
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Old 22nd May 2011, 08:33 AM   #1
Lynn
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How to move on

I am a new member and would like some help in trying to move on from a long and painful relationship.
We have been together 11 years and married for 3.
Only ever living together for 1 year at a time before he leaves, sometimes with other women the last few occasions he gets a rented flat and stays there for a few months before he wants to come back again and repeat the process. He is an alcoholic and had been sober for the last year of which we were living together. The reasons that he leaves are never big bust ups, on this occasion in February we had not even had a row.
He came into the relationship having lost everything he owned from previous relationship and a marriage that he walked away from and 2 small children. I had been married for 23 years when I divorced having 2 children of 16 & 18 at the time.
The eldest daughter had been living here with us and she too has been uprouted now on 3 occasions.
The problem to date is that he asked to meet up a week ago and I agreed and it went from there. All the old feelings came back in an instance and we agreed to give it another go. Must be the 6 attempt!!
I said what I was prepared to accept and not accept, the first being he had to sober up. He said that he took out a lease agreement and would not come back for at least 8 months, alarm bells were ringing at this stage.
He came round to my house for a couple of nights but never stayed, always wanting to go back and then this weekend he let me down completely, usual story, cannot be contacted.
He then rings me after a day and asks for my help as he was in hospital, again usual story, been here so many times.
I just feel that I have had enough of the lies, the cheating, the threats and so on.
But I feel guilty to move on after I had promised to help him and that we would work towards getting back together.
I have lost so much, my respect, the respect of my family and friends who have supported me through all of this and have begged me to walk away.
Why do I feel so sorry for him and responsible.
Please can someone help me?
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