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Old 16th August 2011, 01:43 AM   #23
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Re: Married and lonely


I am very sorry for you and sad thing you are going through now. There is a different element to this story and that is the stress, demands and fear these men live with on a day to day basis. They are exposed to a lot of awful soul numbing garbage. Few have a way to ventilate what they experience out on the street. My daughter is a policeman, and was married to one in the past.

Your husband may be watching TV in a mind-numbing to escape for job stress. Policeman are exposed to climate of sexuality both on the street and in the station house. There are problems that I know exist in the station house where affairs are rather commonplace. Marriages are the toll, from not only the shifts they work, but the relaxed code of morality or malaise that is common in the workplace. It is a terribly hard life and you are not alone. Perhaps there is counselling available to your family through the association? I will ask my daughter about that.

I think you need to be on full alert because affairs easily available around this work environment. I wouldn't be shy about checking clues around your husband. I checked my husbands wallet and belongings on a regular basis. Any woman who doesn't play detective with some of these clues, may get a shock. Then I would say the TV needs to be off one night while the two of you have a serious, none accusing conversation. See if you can find out how he is feeling. Remember, suicide is also something that happens with this job. Is he extremely depressed? That is a great possibility as he blocks out his wife and family. I hope the signs are not missed, if that is the case.

You both deserve more than biding time as roomates. Sexuality is a joyful experience that suffers when undue stress or depression robs one of this vital interest. You probably have counselling for your family available and maybe that would be the right thing. If he is addicted to porn that robs the sexuality from th emarriage. That is a devious soul killing interest. Raymond is dead right on that.

These men live in a climate of danger and street ugliness. Remember an hour of overtime for him, may bring him to a domestic disturbence call where he is killed. So, when he walks in the door with his paycheck, he has put his life on the line every day for you and his family. Most of these men moonlight another side job to make ends meet when the wife does not work. We pay our men in blue a ridulous wage to meet street crime and sometimes assault rifles from kids.

They are our heros who deal with conditions such as men in battle zones. They are there daily, for years. A traffic stop can put his life in danger. These men and women deserve our respect, kindness and love...all that we can give them. I am sure the man you married is there in the shell of this man today. He may need some help. Before you turn from him, pray for him and tell him you care that he is out there in danger. Ask him if it is important to him that you continue to love him and share life with him. See if he will give you some answers. Then rethink your game plan.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 16th August 2011 at 02:23 AM.
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