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Old 18th August 2011, 03:12 AM   #26
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Re: Married and lonely

It must be very hard for you dealing with your husband in that kind of marriage, which isn't really a marriage at all if he is not communicating with you and doing those other things. I know how you feel, I am going through the same thing. Especially with a child it can get very confusing.

I was married to my 2nd husband for over ten years and there was nothing between us for most of that. That isn't the man I'm with now. We still had a sex life but I didn't really enjoy it. Our problems were different. I was really overweight then, close to 200 lbs and didn't care about anything but my children. I didn't work and he couldn't hold a job and he just sat there with no emotion at all on his face in front of the tv.

He was lazy also so I had to do most things around the house and since I knew a lot about that it was no problem but I couldn't wait forever to have things done. I am so glad I finally divorced him after he had an affair. I took my children and left before he could destroy them. My daughter had a very sweet personality and I could see the effect he was having on her. My son was older and had to go to counseling because of my husband's unorthodox punishment of him.

Mental cruelty, locking him in the closet and he would threaten my son with harming me if I ever told and so I didn't find out until much later. How hard that must have been for my son but he recovered and is now in the science field and has a son of his own. When we had my daughter I was very protective as well and saw what he was doing to her mentally. He was just a disciplinarian and nothing more.

The best thing I ever did was leave him. He treated me like I was stupid and I think I believed him. I didn't care what I looked like and was so depressed I wouldn't even want to take a shower in the morning. We always had it hard because he couldn't hold onto a job. So anything I go through now with my current h is an improvement over what I had with that idiot.

He finally abandoned my daughter and moved out of state and good riddance. After that I talked to a counselor and got myself together and lost weight and realized that I was not stupid at all but incredibly bright and gifted. We think a man is one way when we first meet them and he was supposed to be a christian so I had no idea the road he's take.

My parent's didn't like him and neither did my brother and so I ended it and moved on and now I find myself in another complicated relationship with a man who doesn't want to have sex any longer and I can't know for sure the reason why because he won't talk about it.

I think its ed but since he m I'm not sure but by our last encounter I think that's the problem but he denies anything is wrong and I'm beginning to wonder in happiness in marriage is even possible for me. I think we have to protect the children first off.

I stayed with him because I didn't want to take my daughter's father away from her and I had two children with no means of support and so I stayed and then later realized it would be better for them to have no father than the one they had. My daughter is a beautiful human being and good christian but who knows what would have happened if I'd staying any longer?

I'd probably be in jail for murder. LOL. I haven't had an easy time with relationships and I've done everything I can so I guess I just made some bad choices. I didn't love my 2nd husband after the first five years and yet I stayed. My current man I have loved for nine years and I didn't expect it to last but it has. He's a good man but thinks only of himself in this situation. He doesn't even try anymore.

My advice to you is to think of your son first and then yourself because our children are dependent on us to make the right choices for them. Now I realize that I don't need a man at all to be happy but I would like it all to work out but sometimes I just want to walk out the door and not look back.

God has given me strength and i've always had it and I know he is helping me with this but it would be incredibly helpful if he would just come down from heaven and sit in my bedroom with me and tell me what to do. I am a ministers daughter and have always loved God and used to have a ministry of healing but that was long ago.

Try to get involved with things that you like to do. Try to make your life happy regardless of what is going on with him. I agree with 1aokgal that a police officers life can be hard but surely that doesn't have anything to do with the lack of sex and porn. What do I know? My h is out there m when I'm in the same house.

Do men just stop caring after they've been with you for awhile? What is it? Boredom? Wanting something new. I'd like something new too but I am committed. He doesn't cheat on me but in a way I feel like that's what he's doing. I don't know why its so hard to be a woman sometimes.
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