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Old 29th March 2009, 10:30 PM   #1
Siskin
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Please somebody help me

I've been married to my wife for nearly 6 years, and we have two young children: a 3 year old and a 2 month old. My wife is totally dependant on me and stays at home to look after the children.

There are many things I am struggling with in our relationship, but my major problem right now is her apparent inability to stop spending money. She has always been a spender to some extent, something I've always resented. I work hard for my money - our money - and I expect her to look after it. But month after month I find she has been running our joint bank account into overdraft, spending hundreds of pounds on needless expenses. Every month we sit down and I try to talk calmly with her about it, and she apologises, hands me back her bank card and tells me she won't do it again. I need to leave her a bank card so that she can buy groceries and other essential items. Even if I just give her a fixed cash amount, she will find another use for it and then claim she needs extra money for food or the children.

Last year we went to marriage counselling after I completely flipped and left the house for a while. Things calmed down, but she hasn't really changed.

Right now I am so angry and upset after checking the monthly bank statement, I feel like I just want her out of my life for good. I've had enough. But I have two young children, so what am I supposed to do? If I leave her, she couldn't support herself and she has nowhere to go. She has no qualifications and could barely pull minimum wage. If I were to take the children, how could I possibly look after them whilst working full time? I just don't see how a seperation could work in practice yet, if I stay as things currently are, I think I would die from the stress.

I'm equally angry at myself for letting myself get into this relationship in the first place. But I love my children so much, I just want to do what's best for them. I'm trying not to scream at my wife when I have children around, but I have no other way of venting my frustration. My wife just cannot seem to change. If it weren't for leaving my children without a father, I would probably kill myself.

I really don't know what to do any more, please somebody help me.
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