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Old 23rd April 2013, 09:37 PM   #195
freddie
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 139
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Yes, I hear you but there is just one thing: as I said it before this now concerns my daughters. My wife exposed them to her affair, she took them to meet this man and now I want this damage repaired. I have already recriminated her in court for telling my daughter that she had broken up with the bugger, then my daughter being elated and coming to tell me and her best friend that our family problems were over only for her to catch my wife texting the bugger during their holiday. My wife must be aware of her huge disappointment and she will know that now I would be mostly angry for my daughter, but could she be a little considerate and end the affair for good for my daughter if not for me? (bearing in mind she does not have a bond with her).

At the end of March, when my wife broke up (or was dumped) by this man, she volunteered to come and tell me and my elder daughter that it was over. Then after that she wanted to inform me what she would do, where and until what time she would be when being late home after work. She even looked slightly concerned at my possible reaction. She had already filed for divorce.

Now if I go and ask her to tell me straight if she is seeing or communicating with the man again, is it fair to say to her: "You volunteered to tell me that you had broken up with that man when there was no need for you to tell me, now will you please volunteer to tell me if you are seeing or communicating with him again, if so, why?

I almost know already: if she gets angry and denies it, or tells me it is none of my business, I can be almost certain that she is seeing or communicating with him, or at least trying to get him back. If she tells me calmly and even slightly concerned that she is not, I will tend to believe her but I would still keep an eye.

Of course, this can take our relationship back to her being stroppy with me all the time and refusing to give me dinner and other civilities that we had achieved. So will it be worth taking the risk to ask her?

The other thing is that, if she says they are together again, depending on what she tells me about it, I am likely to go and pay him a visit at his place of work. She will think (or realise) that I fooled her, but then I would be doing it for my daughters mostly (for me and my wife too) so I would see it as being fair that I did.
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