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Old 12th October 2016, 06:41 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 78
Looking back, looking forward

In August this year my husband and I celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary. As I look back over the 48 years we had about 8 really difficult years when the children were young and I was bored out of my brains at home when he worked all hours and then took "time off" to relax when he wasn't at work leaving me all alone with the children. The other 40 years were evenly split between OK years and first class years together.

It is lovely now that we are retired together and know we can love and trust each other completely. I'm there for him at 3 in the morning at the emergency room while he is doubled over in pain. He was there for me when my anxiety and depression suddenly overwhelmed me after years without it. I have learned to play the card game bridge which he loves - a lot. And we play together a couple of times a week, even though it isn't my activity of choice. And he goes out of his way to support me in the garden.

The expression of love is putting oneself out for another and working together to maximise the quality of life for you both.

When the rough times come, as they do in any marriage, think long term. We are now living with the benefits of working on our relationship over that long term. It is wonderful in a quiet sort of understated way. Its sitting on the front steps having a cuppa and both reading. Its going for a walk and neither of us needing to talk at all. It is preparing for the future which might not include one of us (simplifying the mess in the house, encouraging my husband to have other bridge partners so if I go first he will still be able to play). In a word, life is much more comfortable together than it would have been if we had split during the difficult times.

Go in peace.
Hilary is offline   Reply With Quote