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Old 6th April 2005, 01:01 AM   #30
Concerned Reader
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 59
Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Dear Helen

Your story is fascinating and colourful, but it is an illustration of how cheating and divorce just hand misery down the years. The question is how best to stop it.

You don't say why your mother left the marital home, but since she was able to come and go at will, the assumption is that she chose to, and that she was cheating. I can see that this sets up a terrible tension in a child, but I don't understand why the conclusion is that she should have tried to excuse this to a five-year old child, rather than that she should have been faithful in the first place. Of course, I don't know the situation with your father, but what ever it was, infidelity will have made it worse.

In respect of your ex-H, from what you write he was prepared to keep his promises in the face of your coolness, your infidelity, and even accepted the child of another man despite the extra problems that caring for this child must entail. However, you chose to leave this exceptional partner against the advice of your family.

Although your ex-H is happier now, his first choice was that you should keep your promises. You cannot use his current situation to justify what was done purely for your self-interests. Thank goodness it worked out for him, but that is not something you can claim credit for. That's just spin, like a company saying it is 'freeing people to pursue their economic freedom' when they mean 'we've just sacked half the staff'.

Just recently you have posted that you have had a temporary separation from your current partner, and that you left but returned.

Is this really making you any happier?
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