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Old 7th November 2016, 10:30 PM   #325
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Glad it has worked out for you Robin though probably not for your ex husband.

It reminds me of my situation. When I was looking for a wife I fell in love with a girl instantly when I saw her. When she passed close to me in church I felt my heart beating whilst going weak at the knees. She was the second girl I felt like this about in my life. Eventually I had to ring her up and I said I think God has given me a love for you. Her reply was that I was the third person that week who echoed those sentiments. I felt like crawling into a hole.

Some years later my pastor told me that there was a girl in our church who was in love with me for the past two years and she was having difficulty in eating because of it so I decided to date her. I eventually proposed to her although my feelings were nothing like what I had for the other girl, although I did have a chemical attraction which you can get with certain people. I now doubt whether my previous crushes on the two girls were a sign of destiny as my marriage has turned out fine for many years. They say that the honeymoon period doesn't last anyway but a commitment can.

I can say, in a mature way, that I love her more than I did at the beginning as it is something I learned to do. She is a wonderful person. I think the bottom line is a chemical attraction (sexual) as opposed to a platonic relationship which I did have with one girl and knew I didn't love her, although I got on with her great in other ways. I was wise enough to back off as marriage had been mentioned. She was quite hurt but it is better than making a mistake as has been described on here. She got over the hurt which would have been far worse if I married her and felt like those on here. She eventually married and is very happy. One can also make big mistakes if one is too desperate to get married.
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