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Old 11th June 2009, 03:41 AM   #3
us marriage
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Re: Marriage to a wife or Mother in law?

My wife and I have been together for three years now and we've got a two year old daughter and I have a seven year old son from a previous relationship. My mother-in-law was fine until my daughter was born - from that point onwards my wife and her became abnormally close - they would phone/sms each other 5 to 10 times a day, my mother-in-law would drive three hours to spend the day at our house every Wednesday and my wife would spend at least one long-weekend at my parents-in-law's house per month. My wife even invited her parents to attend our first wedding anniversary dinner!

During this period my mother-in-law started interfering in our marriage – some examples; she would continually criticize me about small things, keep track of every detail of our marriage, didn't respect privacy and just generally tried to take control of our household. I initially mentioned to my wife in a gentle manner that I wasn't happy about this, but she did nothing to stop it. In parallel to this, my wife started to become very cold towards my son with her parents almost ignoring him while lavishing attention on their granddaughter. My previous wife passed away from cancer about five years ago, and my son has bonded with my wife, this rejection is doing him a lot of harm and it’s showing in his behaviour, school performance, etc.

Eventually this escalated into several direct confrontations between my mother-in-law and me with my wife siding with her mother. This had a major impact on my relationship with my wife, to the extent that our love live collapsed and that our relationship became very acrimonious. The end result is that my wife moved out to go and live with her parents, she’s asking for a divorce and there’s little chance of reconciliation due to her mother poisoning her against me while she lives there. What I don’t understand is why my wife’s relationship with her mother became so abnormally intense after our daughter was born? I never experienced this during my first marriage, is this normal? Any suggestions on what I can do to try and save the marriage?
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