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Old 4th July 2013, 05:03 AM   #36
sillybil
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 13
Re: child produced from affair with married man

He is the most selfish person I've known in my life who wants everything to be his way or no way. He has done a lot of bad thing but always managed to shift the blame to me. I am only waiting until oneday, my feelings turn other way and stopped loving him which will make it so much easier for me to go. I know it is not ideal for me to stay with him, he doesnt treat me right. I only take some of the good things he's done to me. He does spend most of his time with me. I dont know if he visit the OW. I am only going by how I feel everyday, someday I feel extremely insecure thus I would be very negative and started to ask questions which he doesnt like. THe point is why would you get so offensive if you dont do nothing wrong. I dont trust him and I want to learn to trust him again. I would go if I have the courage to do it. BUt I am not strong enough, I let myself to suffer this way, it is my fault. I feel stuck and has no where to turn. I dont have any confident in myself that I will be ok or make myself be ok. What did I do to deserve this? He told me that he is not ready to move back in with me and it is good he has his own place now as he wouldnt want to be in the situation where I left him homeless again. So it was all my fault. He was never help me finding a place, and yes I told him I will do that but then we argued and I thought I should just not live with him to teach him a lesson. Boy, he is holding the grudge for sure. Now he is scared to be in that position which apparently my fault. But he forgot what terrible things he has done to me and our marriage. If I walk away, he is still be ok but I wont be ok.
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