Thread: today
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Old 7th May 2006, 05:16 PM   #19
Lovey
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Re: today

Hi Amanda,

Your Husband may be a little miffed because we're discussing your private life on here. It's understandable that he'd have that reaction. We're only here to support one another, and you'd get the same with a Therapist - one side. We do the best with what we've got and it simply doesn't matter if he likes it. You do, and that's all that counts.

Everything we say is fair. We do not take sides. It's not about taking sides. Not all H's feel this way about this board, he might like to know that my H is happy that I am able to discuss this here. Besides, it's anonymous!!

I feel for your friend, Amanda. It's too bad she did all of those terrible things to his car and clothes. She will feel terrible about it later on, and he didn't deserve that. I hope she has a good support system. If she'd like to come here, we can all give her support she will need.

I think that the pub incident is difficult for some people. If it were me, I'd have removed the person's hand off of me with force and intent to let them know that it's unacceptable. Your Husband might not be comfortable with confrontation enough to say anything to her about it. I think that you need to talk to him about that and let him know that while he has this secret life, under NO circumstances is he to let your children see this.

That right there is a good way to show how NOT to be a good father. I hope he read that. He might be a good Dad in many other ways, but that right there is one of the worse things a father can do is to let his kids in on something like that. At least if he couldn't stop her for you he should have stopped the girl for the kids sake. He needs your help to start standing up for himself at least in front of the kids, because they are innocent and don't deserve to see that.

Also, it's not fair to you. Maybe you can talk to him and discuss certain ways of telling her that he is uncomfortable with her behaviour? He might not know what to say, so if you brainstorm, it will be easier to come up with something you can both agree on. I would expect my H to resist any advance made by any woman while I am in his company or not. Respect is what your H needs to remember.

I don't think all men are a-holes, and certainly not all the time.
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