Wiggle

Morning Kathryn,
Yes, I'm in the UK too - in the SE.
I've read your new thread. I'm so sorry to hear that he's been mucking you about - I think living in false hope (as I now think I've been doing) is far worse than a clean break. They really are gutless wonders.
Yes, I do doubt his ability to compromise. His Dad never so much as boiled the kettle even after he retired, and I have the sneaking suspicion that's what he subconciously expects...what's really driving me nuts at the moment is I've admitted my part in all of this, but he's so self-centred it's all about how things have impacted on him - he's not once realised how his behaviour impacted on me.
Relieved to hear your opinion on the counselling. I think it has given him excuses, rather than pointers for personal growth.
I don't feel I can tell him I'm moving back in. It's always been his house. Luckily I have got a flat I've been renting out, so I won't be homeless. When it all first kicked off, I mentioned the possibility of me staying over weekends so we could chat. He said he felt like I'd be invading his space....
I take on board what you say about making no sense. He doesn't. And it has been driving me nuts. I'm starting to wonder if he is depressed, or if he's just been as nasty as he can be to me for the last few years so I'd leave voluntarily and do his dirty work for him (b*stard).
Yes, he is obsessed by stupid little things. The Relate counsellor picked up on that and pointed out how daft it was to get up tight over hoovering. He responded that it was important to him. She said that often issues over housework are actually symptomatic of not feeling listened too or respected. I'm not sure he even heard that bit.
PLEASE don't apologise for being negative about my OH - you can't be anymore negative about him than I have! He's been grumpy, miserable, self-centred, selfish, emotionally immature, deceptive, rude, nasty, and apparently incapable of empathy.
Yes, I'm wondering 'why am I bothering?' too. I'm trying to get it into my head that he doesn't love me, need me or want me, and then focus on pleasing myself. Am seriously considering going travelling for 6 months...
Thank you for taking the time to respond to this. This forum has helped me keep what little sanity I had to start with!

Love & hugs