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Old 9th January 2014, 10:07 PM   #174
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: I don't love my wife and never have...

Quote:
Originally Posted by magneto View Post
When a person tells you on multiple occasions that they don't like, don't feel love for you, say they aren't your friend, say you have nothing in common, etc., you start to lose love for that person. Who would marry someone with those feelings toward them....So why would you stay married to someone who professed those feelings. I will always have love (friendship, my kids mother, family), but no longer feel the love as I did that brought me to the alter. I thought when I got to 20 years we would renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But, I couldn't honestly stand again in front of my spouse, our families, friends, and God and make a commitment that I don't feel I can honor. When I did that originally I was all in.... can't even come close to saying that now. Not that I haven't tried to keep things going, but this wasn't what I committed to when I said "I do". For me telling someone "I don't love you" is worse than adultery. So for someone to tell me that...well it's been downhill really ever since. It basically destroys the foundation of the purpose of the marriage. One thing I have learned in life is that if you are not happy, you can't bring happiness to others. For me to remain unhappy in marriage erases any hope that my spouse will be either. My mom's joy came from her kids. However, her and my father were rarely happy together. (my recollection). I know they loved each other, but I do feel sad that they never really enjoyed life after the kids left. Things just got worse. They basically just coexisted in a house together....Roommates. I don't want that for me or my spouse.
However she has said she wants to work on the marriage and love can be rekindled if you are both committed and prepared to work at it.
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