Thread: Baronness
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Old 25th August 2011, 07:18 AM   #54
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Chamomile, the last time you posted you said how much better I was doing and how I wasn't defensive anymore, and now you are saying I'm all over the place. so I'm the one confused here. I wasn't upset by what 1aokgal was saying, just the words she used, which were harsh and I can't believe no one else can see that.

It isn't necessary to be insulting to get your point across. Yes, I agree, my postings are conflicting and I don't have to go back and read them to know that. Sometimes I get frustrated and angry with my situation and then other times I have better days where I try not to think about it and occupy myself with other things.

No matter how hard I try to deal with it, I'm having a hard time and I freely admit that. I have been doing a lot better and was thinking I could let it go and just deal with it and move on. That's when I read 1aokgal's post where she said those things in a very harsh way and I was upset. I didn't think it was necessary to use words like 'manure' and so forth.

Lately things have been going well and so I didn't understand. I thought you all would be interested in my life and how it was going. I'm only defensive when I am insulted and I just can't understand why someone has to be rude to me to get their point across. I am not used to being talked to that way because I don't do it.

I am not always defensive when someone gives me advice and a lot of the advice and viewpoints have helped me very much. Haven't you ever heard of good days and bad days? Sometimes I'm fine and other times I'm not and I'm sure you've had days like that. This is my first time posting on any thread and so I'm new at it.

I just thought it was great that I could say whatever I wanted, things I can't tell anyone else. I am just trying to deal with this and it is very hard for me because usually I would have just walked out the door. I have discovered a lot of things about myself since I've been on here, things good and things I've been doing wrong.

I am just so used to thinking one way about this; negatively, and so now I have to change the way I think and that is rather difficult. There is no big mystery here, I am not a split personality, I am just a woman trying to deal with a man who doesn't sleep with her anymore. For those of you who don't know what that's like, I can't begin to tell you how devastating it can be.

However; I can't very well be devastated for the rest of my life, now can I? I'm so tired of thinking about this and talking about this because except for the change in me, it isn't really helping me to keep talking about it. I want to rise above it and just deal with it. Do you think I like being happy one day and miserable the next?

Before reading the post from 1aokgal, I had read one from her in my personal email where she was talking about this but in a different way and I started thinking about it and decided that she was right, for me to keep talking about this was depressing and it was time to move on and stop feeling like a victim, and start being the victor.

So I decided to just accept what is happening and when I did he started getting better about talking to me and I have been cheerful and joking around with him and I feel better and I have asked God to help me stop complaining, even to myself because I don't think that's pleasing to God and it isn't exactly making me jump for joy either.

Anyway, I think its a good idea to look at the positive aspect of this and that is that I do have a man who loves me and I love him too, I'm just sad at the way things are now. I had such high hopes for us and it hasn't turned out like I thought it would but I have no problems with him other than his lack of sexual desire.

And of course I stick up for him, he's my man and we basically work together as a couple and I wouldn't even have a problem with the way he is except for what has been happening for the past year or so. It will be okay, I will be okay, I always am and I'm not going to give up. If I do it will be because there is no hope at all and then it will be time to move on.

I think the key here is that I continue to read the bible and pray because I seem to do better when I do. I don't know what else to say, a lot of things have been said lately and now I just want to move on. There are a lot of things in life that can be very good and I am looking forward to seeing what God has in store for me.